rishan

since i am a student of advertising, i have always been amused by the punchlines given for products.I was jus workin on an idea yesterday when something funny struck me,what if all these products with thier own punchlines and tags start endorsing condoms..I immediately worked on a few through photoshop....and here are a funny few...and ahh indians would understand it better bcoz these are basically puchlines given by indian advertisers....

Thought 1 #

When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.

When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.

When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from?

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# Thought 2 #

The average man's life consists of:

Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,

Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

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# Thought 3 #

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.

Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die."

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

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# Thought 4 #

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raises his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued,

"My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."

The whole audience including priest started laughing but not the poor groom.

well urs truly rishan,has done a research as to why so many students fail in the exams,and here are the findings......
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY
has 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1.Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
2.Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263.
3.8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4.1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5.2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing
properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.
6.1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. Days left 81.
7.Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8.Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.
9.For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10.Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday. Make A Wish
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0

"Then h ow can a student pass ??"

ok let me tell u whats been my most embarrasing moment...this was when i was about 10..And then i had this sleepwalking problem. one night a few of our relatives stayed back at home....and as usual i woke up and had to go pee. but then i was very sleepy so i was as blind as a bat. I stumbled to where I thought was the bathroom, but instead I traveled to the room where a few of my aunts were sleeping and i pissed on one of them. my aunt woke me up,fuming.i had peed on her head u c! my god from then on everytime i pee i double check...so this has been my most embarrsing moment although there have been others as well...so plz do let me know of urs as well

HERE ARE SOME JOKES THAT I WANT TO SHARE WITH MY FELLOW BLOGGERS WHICH I HAVE HEARD OVER THE YEARS..

SAMBOO is buying a TV.
Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, please

SAMBOO calls british airways.
How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?
Just a sec, says the rep.

Thank you, says SAMBOO and hangs up.

SAMBOO was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected"
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote: Yes

girl friend tells SAMBOO: "come home evening, nobody there".
But when he went her home evening, nobody was there.

What will SAMBOO do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!

What will SAMBOO do if he wants an additional white sheet of
paper?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!

Why did 18 INDIANS go together to an adult movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
How do you measure SAMBOO'S intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
What do you do when SAMBOO throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
How do you make SAMBOO laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on WednesdaY
What is SAMBOO doing when he holds his hands tightly over his
ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
Why does SAMBOO work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train him on Monday.
How did SAMBOO try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

Why does SAMBOO always smile during lightning storms?
HE thinks his picture is being taken.

Why does SAMBOO have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
How can you tell when SAMBOO sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't SAMBOO dial 911?
HE cannot find the eleven on the phone

SAMBOO goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk,
What is that shiny object?
The clerk replies,
That is a thermos flask.
SAMBOO then asks,
What does it do?
The clerk responds,
It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.
SAMBOO says,
I'll take it!
next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His boss sees him and asks,
What is that shiny object with you?
He said, It's a thermos flask.
The boss then says,
What does it do?
He replies,
It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.
The boss said,
Wow, what do you have in it?
SAMBOO replies,
2cups of coffee and a coke.